“I ate the food and I didn’t get disease, rather I felt vigorously virile and ready to take on the meter maid! That’s my metaphor for Carpe diem, daddy!” “I can’t imagine I’ll be in here less than fifteen times while shooting Office Christmas Party.” But if you’re in a rough spot and you’re looking for somebody who can get you out of it the person tough enough with the right stuff to take you through … That salmon is that person.” They can be really hard on themselves and others. Some salmon can be hard to get close to the emotionally or physically, they can just be tough. You can’t blame them for that some salmon are just tough as hell. The miso soup came out so fast we thought we had peed it up thru the table!” They didn’t understand that at all, because it wasn’t true or real, but boil oh boy were they accommodating to our rush.

“We ordered only sashimi and explained that we were in a hurry because we are going to get our feet attached our heads at 4pm. “Now I’m not a lettuce wrap man myself, I’ll get it for my wife if she’s having lady issues that month … But boy oh boy must I have had lady issues this month because I love their lettuce wraps! I’ll take that monthly visitor any day of the week if they’ll come to NIU noodles with me!” “We mostly go for the dumplings, but this place is no “dump” in terms of its noodles that’s for sure! LOL roll on the floor LOL or a farewell ROTFL ROFL roll roll roll drop and roll laughing avoid the fire roll on the floor laughing.”

“I’ve ordered a cheeseburger, obviously, this is nearly the only thing that they serve, it’s their special … tee? Tee jay? T.J.? What is HAPPENING?!!” With gravy, with catsup and blustard (that’s blustering mustard) or simply dip it in Gatorade and eat it on a long run.” “I suppose now that I mentioned it in a parenthetical there are a variety of ways that one could eat a poboy. “I’m not an egg roll man (or an egg roll can)” Miller apparently enjoys reviewing everything from plumbers to restaurants to strip clubs to the people driving airport pickup shuttles for hotels on his Yelp account, and his reviews - which are almost exclusively raves - are peppered with all the pomp, absurdity, and strange tangents you’d expect from a guy who says we live in a “post-meaning society” where his words have “no teleological destination.” Because debating the merits or sincerity of his reviews could require thousands of words, we’d rather just present the most absurd, Millier-iest lines from his three pages of Yelp reviews without context. Miller does these days, it’s hard to parse the line between real life and comedic bit. As in nearly everything ex- Silicon Valley actor T.J.

Ugly blonde yelp reviewer with acne